You’re saying good night to someone you’ve just met and hope to see again. “I’ll call you in a couple days,” you say with a smile.
“Sounds good,” she replies, stepping backward toward her parked car and lifting her hand to wave goodbye with a flutter of her fingers.
You watch as she drives away, excited about future possibilities. But a week later, when she still fails to return any of your calls or texts, you’re stymied. Hadn’t she said, “sounds good,” when you told her you’d be calling? So what’s the deal?
The deal is this: In the happy haze of your first meet-up you heard the lady’s words, but you didn’t pay attention to the non-verbal signals that might have clued you in to what she really felt. By backing away from you, using her hand to create a barrier, and fanning the air “bye-bye,” her body-talk contradicted her speech. Since you weren’t reading her completely, you wound up blindsided.
If you want to know what’s behind a woman’s words, pay attention to the messages her body sends to get the most immediate, uncensored peek. Next time you meet someone who attracts you, be on the lookout for the signs that reveal her interest is piqued . . . or not. The more you practice watching for these cues, the better you’ll be at figuring out what she really means, no matter what her lips say.
Reading Her Body’s Cues
She’s probably feeling cool toward you if:
- She leans away from you or steadily backs up. This could also mean she’s distancing from what you’re saying, so change the subject and see what happens.
- Her fists are closed or clenched, implying she’s angry or protecting herself from you.
- She taps or drums her fingers showing boredom or impatience.
- She hides her face with a hand or menu. (Like that little “bye-bye” gesture.) This can also mean she’s protecting herself or keeping information from you.
- She places a hand over her mouth, indicating disapproval or reluctance to say what’s on her mind.
- Her arms are crossed over her chest; a defensive, protective posture.
- She smiles with her mouth, but not her eyes. This signifies politeness, but no true warmth.
- Her legs are crossed and her foot is swinging toward you—meaning she really wants to kick you to the curb.
If she makes some or all of these moves, she’s feeling open to you:
- She makes steady, direct eye contact with you.
- She leans in close when talking with you.
- She smiles at you with her mouth and her eyes.
- Her palms are open, showing sincerity and lack of duplicity.
- One leg is crossed in your direction, meaning she wants to keep you where you are.
- She touches your arm or your knee as she makes a point. Of course, she might be a generally touchy-feely person—but if she doesn’t like you at all, she’ll hold back these moves.
Even better, she’s probably attracted to you if she does some of these things, too:
- She blushes or her chest reddens. While this might signal nervousness, it’s still a good indicator of excitement.
- She moistens her lips with the tip of her tongue or slowly applies lipstick in front of you. (A slapdash fix of worn-off makeup doesn’t quite count.)
- She tilts her head coyly, and sometimes looks up at you from beneath her lashes.
- She blinks faster when she looks at you than at others.
- She lifts her hair off her neck and stretches.
- She tosses her hair or flips it away from her face.
If her body language tells you she’s interested, let your own movements convey that you’d like to get closer, too. As you can see, it doesn’t take an aggressive come-on to send an invitation. To someone who’s paying attention, subtle body-talk says it all.